<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom">
    <title>Memo</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/" />
    <link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/atom.xml" />
    <id>tag:,2008-04-15:/4</id>
    <updated>2010-02-09T15:16:37Z</updated>
    <subtitle>Corporate Memos</subtitle>
    <generator uri="http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/">Movable Type Open Source 4.1</generator>

<entry>
    <title>BPL ANNOUNCES RECALL</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2010/02/bpl-announces-recall.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2010://4.52</id>

    <published>2010-02-09T15:12:11Z</published>
    <updated>2010-02-09T15:16:37Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[In BPL's unending quest for the trappings of legitimacy, it has issued a Recall. &nbsp;But this is not like Recalls issued by corporate giants for products like unstoppable or unstartable automobiles, plasticy dog food, or leaded teething devices. &nbsp;Its not...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[<div><div><div>In BPL's unending quest for the trappings of legitimacy, it has issued a Recall. &nbsp;But this is not like Recalls issued by corporate giants for products like unstoppable or unstartable automobiles, plasticy dog food, or leaded teething devices. &nbsp;Its not even a Recall proper. &nbsp;BPL announces its first Precall.</div><div><br /></div><div>Our Systems Sustainability for New Aerospacey Products (SSNAP) Division has been analyzing the marketing value of product recalls. &nbsp;We estimate that the Legitimacy Index Exception (LIE) is increased when products are publicly exposed as faulty, poorly designed, dangerous, or fraudulent. &nbsp;Companies see increased growth, especially after a good media lambasting.</div><div><br /></div><div>As all BPL products are somewhat inefficiently hand made and developed by our single employee, there is much to recommend them for this marketing strategy. &nbsp;But rather than spend a lot of time and money on shipping things out, recalling them and then shipping them out again, which is really the harmful part of any recall, we will PRE-RECALL our unshipped (and even as - yet unproduced or unimagined) &nbsp;merchandise. &nbsp;This means that BPL Products already have the legitimizing stamp of RECALLED when you, dear aerospace consumer, receive them. &nbsp;Thus, you can bask in the 'improved' condition of your Stereo Viewer, or Pocket Protector, or A7LB Space Suit, when you first remove it from its shipping carton. &nbsp;BPL believes that its Precall system will soon become an industry standard. We have already effected improvements on several of our product lines equalling two to four Recalls of any of our competitors. &nbsp;Our goal is to offer the best Recall Experience in the Aerospace field. &nbsp;</div></div></div> ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Esther Klein Art Gallery presentation</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2010/01/esther-klein-art-gallery-prese.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2010://4.50</id>

    <published>2010-01-29T04:32:27Z</published>
    <updated>2010-01-29T04:37:28Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[***PUBLIC MEMORANDUM***A BPL representative will be giving a brief talk entitled "What does a 19th Century American Painter Have To Do With Space Exploration?" during which this question will be tangentially addressed.&nbsp; Following the numerous questions and somewhat fewer answers...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[<div align="center">***PUBLIC MEMORANDUM***<br /></div><br />A BPL representative will be giving a brief talk entitled "What does a 19th Century American Painter Have To Do With Space Exploration?" during which this question will be tangentially addressed.&nbsp; Following the numerous questions and somewhat fewer answers generated by the presentation, he will demonstrate the process of manufacturing BPL's new Stereogram Viewer, with real plastic and sharp objects.<br />This will all take place through Breadboard, at the Esther Klein Art Gallery, 3600 Market Street, Philadelphia, PA&nbsp; 19104, from 1 - 4 p.m. on Saturday, 30 January.&nbsp; Another demonstration of the automated production of the BPL Moranic Mission to Montana official patch may also take place, Fates&nbsp; and time permitting.<br /><br />BELOW IS A LINK TO A SET OF SAMPLE DIRECTIONS TO THE PRESENTATION:<br /><br /><a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/communicate">http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Washington&amp;1s=DC&amp;1a=1600+Pennsylvania+Ave+NW&amp;1z=20500-0003&amp;1y=US&amp;1l=38.89872&amp;1g=-77.036379&amp;1v=ADDRESS&amp;2c=Philadelphia&amp;2s=PA&amp;2a=3600+Market+St&amp;2z=19104-2641&amp;2y=US&amp;2l=39.95623&amp;2g=-75.19448&amp;2v=ADDRESS</a><br /><br />Feel free to contact BPL with questions at<br /><a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/communicate">http://browerpropulsionlab.com/communicate</a><br />or if you prefer, you may call our customer support line at 888-BPL-1848 ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>BPL Holiday Party</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/12/bpl-holiday-party.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.45</id>

    <published>2009-12-23T19:32:08Z</published>
    <updated>2009-12-23T20:06:37Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[BPL Holiday MemoDROOPDirectorate for Resident Operators Office Parties23 December, 2009In consultation with upper management, this office has concluded discussions about the annual BPL office party.&nbsp; Our main concern has been to avoid last year's fiasco, but still have fun.From around...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[<div align="center">BPL Holiday Memo<br /></div><br /><br />DROOP<br />Directorate for Resident Operators Office Parties<br /><br />23 December, 2009<br /><br />In consultation with upper management, this office has concluded discussions about the annual BPL office party.&nbsp; Our main concern has been to avoid last year's fiasco, but still have fun.<br />From around the middle of December until 2 January, people are generally rushing around hurriedly attempting to 'finish' things and address their holiday needs.&nbsp; This results in missed work days and elevated levels of stress.&nbsp; We don't have to remind you that a lot of traveling gets done in this period, and the general elevation of anxiety can be dangerous at home, on the roads, in the air, out in space, and most importantly, at work.<br /><br />That is why we chose to schedule this year's party in a statistically and scientifically considerate manner, rather than with an eye toward tradition and sentimentality.&nbsp; This year's party will be held Wednesday, 27 January, 2010, during the lunch break which will be extended to a full 45 minutes, beginning at 10:20 a.m. EDT.&nbsp; Also as usual, it will be in the break room, next to the secretary's first aid station.&nbsp; Studies have shown that this is the least productive moment of the year, so spending the time on a party will not interfere with our progress too much.<br /><br />As with any holiday office party, this directorate will be responsible for collecting the funds from all of you for the decorations and refreshments.&nbsp; $25.00 each should do.&nbsp; The collection period begins immediately and will end on Friday, 22 January, at 7:50 p.m. EDT.&nbsp; Keep in mind that your receipt is your ticket to the party, the attendance of which is mandatory, company-wide.&nbsp; We will need volunteers for the several committees: Decorating (this year's theme: Bow Hunting); Place settings, Cutlery, and Condiments (see me for some left overs from last year); Music (appropriate, please!); Food (Diabetes friendly);&nbsp; and Secret Santa.&nbsp; We really need everyone's help to make this year's party the best ever, so don't be afraid to make suggestions!<br />Oh, and one other thing.&nbsp; Due to the time of day, management has decided that alcohol will not be a feature of this year's party.&nbsp; If you want to drink, do it before you come to work.<br /><br />]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>BPL Spelling Policy Executive Review (SPEW)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/12/bpl-spelling-policy-executive.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.44</id>

    <published>2009-12-22T17:23:37Z</published>
    <updated>2009-12-22T20:55:41Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[BPL Head OfﬁceSanitation Desk22 December, 2009**********MEMORANDUM**********It has come to the attention of this desk, and the person or persons sitting behind or on it, that a memo was sent out recently without our approval.&nbsp; Clearly stated in the BPL Bylaws,...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[<div align="right">BPL Head Ofﬁce<br />Sanitation Desk<br /></div>22 December, 2009<br /><div align="center">**********MEMORANDUM**********<br /></div><br />It has come to the attention of this desk, and the person or persons sitting behind or on it, that a memo was sent out recently without our approval.&nbsp; Clearly stated in the BPL Bylaws, in the BPL Handbook (I'll let you ﬁgure out which page and paragraph as penance), is the directive that all Memos, documents, notes, literature, sermons, graphic representations or novels (or even descriptions), ﬁles, or scrivenations of any kind must be approved by the Sanitation Desk.&nbsp; We discovered that the word 'RECEIVING' was spelled 'RECIEVING' in the subject line of an electronic missive sent to the entire network on 21 December, 2009.&nbsp; Here is a real email we got in response:<br /><div align="center">**********<br /></div>i before e, except after c, or when sounds like a(long), as in "neighbor" or "weigh" <br />&nbsp;<br />Exceptions:&nbsp; seize, inveigle, either, weird, leisure, neither. <br />&nbsp;<br />your professor, <br />Peter <br /><div align="center">**********<br /></div>To the Author of the Original Memo: <br />Now, you might say to yourself, 'that's just a petty sniping at our single ﬂaw; there's no mention of all the dozens of words in the document we spelled correctly!', but that's not the point!&nbsp; This guy, after getting that document, and looking over all the hard work this company put into devising it, and all the somewhat less hard work it might have put into whatever the document refers to, this guy, who is technically right you know, says, 'yeah, whatever, but you spelled this word wrong, so screw you!"&nbsp; And that is his prerogative.&nbsp; He will probably never send us his business, never look at our website, and never be convinced that we are for real - no matter how many 'free samples' and coupons or robotic midnight telephone calls we barrage him with.&nbsp; Who knows how many other potential clients you permanently redirected to our competitors?<br /><br />On the other hand, maybe we are better off without such clients.&nbsp; This fellow probably has other standards that could be used against our products.&nbsp; If he's into spelling errors, just think of what he'd do with the out-of-plane optics or our 'eyeball' measuring system for machining with hundred year old tools?&nbsp; There would be no end to the complaints.&nbsp; So, I changed my mind- good job!&nbsp; Let's eliminate these sticklers from our mailing lists!&nbsp; There must be someone out there who agrees with us that 'It's the thought that counts'.<br /><br />Also, I do recognize the fact that the memo in question came from the highest ofﬁce in the company, and that is why I have chosen to negate in the second half of this memo what I stated in the ﬁrst half.&nbsp; I feel that it is not wrong to correct your superiors; it is a duty, but it is also stupid if you want to keep your job.&nbsp; I ﬁgure the CEO is too busy to read all the way down to the bottom of this and everyone else around here would sympathize with my position.&nbsp; Maybe I won't send this after all.]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>rule 006 (No Parties)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/05/rule-006-no-parties.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.22</id>

    <published>2009-05-15T23:44:13Z</published>
    <updated>2009-06-03T23:47:04Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[15 May, 2009Office of Annual EventsDepartment of Cautious PessimismManagement DivisionBPL HQ, BrooklynMEMO*****************************************************************&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;As is clearly stated in our Corporate Charter, (BPL DOC. 009-245-001), the Brower Propulsion Laboratory maintains a strict 'one employee policy'.&nbsp; The charter also suggests that this rule...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[15 May, 2009<br /><div align="right">Office of Annual Events<br />Department of Cautious Pessimism<br />Management Division<br />BPL HQ, Brooklyn<br /></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><b>MEMO<br />*****************************************************************</b><br /></div><br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;As is clearly stated in our Corporate Charter, (BPL DOC. 009-245-001), the Brower Propulsion Laboratory maintains a strict 'one employee policy'.&nbsp; The charter also suggests that this rule cuts down on paperwork and office parties.&nbsp; It has come to my attention that a birthday has been celebrated on company time, in contravention to rule 006 (No Parties).&nbsp; I have discussed this infraction with the employees involved, and it has become necessary to clarify the rule.&nbsp; A party is not just sitting around, blowing out candles and eating cake.&nbsp; A party can also be the receipt of a package containing "presents" at work.&nbsp; It can be the taking of a 'happy birthday' call on the phone- this is banned even during your break time.&nbsp; At the moment we are technically incapable of enforcing this rule, but with 'web 2.0' we will soon be able to make sure you aren't having 'birthday thoughts' either.&nbsp; Celebrating is perhaps important in the larger picture, maybe family activities would be diminished without this ritual, but it is a hazard in the workplace.&nbsp; The distraction, expense, and lack of hygiene are intolerable.&nbsp; Anyone caught in a celebratory mood will be reprimanded, will be disallowed cigarettes, and subjected to remediation, whatever that is.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;As always, my door is open to anyone with concerns or suggestions about how to make BPL the best company possible.<br /><br /><br />Steven Brower<br />Supervisor, Department of Cautious Pessimism<br />KC2SQU<br />CC: Propaganda Division ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>BPL Environmental Control</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/03/bpl-environmental-control.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.21</id>

    <published>2009-03-22T23:42:19Z</published>
    <updated>2009-06-03T23:43:45Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[22 March, 2008BPL Environmental ControlBrooklyn Navy YardCONFIDENTIALHey Steve-I have submitted all the required paperwork to allow us to be considered a "green" business.&nbsp; Having done that, I feel that I have to point out a couple things, just to assuage...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[22 March, 2008<br /><div align="right">BPL Environmental Control<br />Brooklyn Navy Yard<br /></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><b>CONFIDENTIAL</b><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br />Hey Steve-<br /><br />I have submitted all the required paperwork to allow us to be considered a "green" business.&nbsp; Having done that, I feel that I have to point out a couple things, just to assuage this vaguely guilty sensation I have acquired since faxing that document.<br /><br />For one thing, we are a tiny business, and even though the corporate officers don't like to admit it, we can't really afford to be green.&nbsp; The processes we would have to put in place to truly minimize our 'carbon footprint' would put us even more out of business than we already are.&nbsp; Changing our electrical system, updating our inefficient equipment, installing scrubbers and filters, using non-toxic materials- and administratively keeping track of the documentation for these improvements- this stuff is all financially unfeasible for us.<br /><br />And the other thing is that the way we have defined our 'greenness' is actually a backward description of our polluting policy.&nbsp; It is true that our size makes us much less 'toxic' than our full-scale cousins in the Aerospace Industry.&nbsp; But that condition in itself does not make us cleaner as we stated in the documents.&nbsp; And it is true that almost all of our material is found on the streets, taken from dumpsters, donated by other polluters, or just re-used stuff from other projects, and yes, if we actually bought all that crap it would contribute to the pollution that comes from overconsumption- but we still are processing the material, creating toxic plumes or organic vapor, putting large quantities of the material back into the waste stream, and using extra energy to process unusual items, such as refurbishing machines found at garbage dumps. &nbsp;<br /><br />The biggest worry for me is the ultimate use that our products are put to.&nbsp; On the forms we indicated that since we aren't actually able to get our spacecraft into space, we are actually helping to clean the environment.&nbsp; However, the manufacture of these elaborate devices that go into our missions doesn't seem to have as much of a purpose when they just sit around or appear in some art gallery or person's bathroom. &nbsp;<br /><br />I think our motto 'doing less with more' could be misconstrued by the authorities, who I predict will see right through our cynical ploy to get this "Green" designation.&nbsp; I for one suggest we continue polluting in the open until our activities are legislated out of existence.&nbsp; Just wanted to get that off my chest.&nbsp; Oh, I liked that last tweet of yours, by the way.<br /><br /><br /><br />-s ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>BPL Pickup Team</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/03/bpl-pickup-team.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.20</id>

    <published>2009-03-01T15:40:46Z</published>
    <updated>2009-06-03T23:41:57Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[01 March, 2009BPL Pickup TeamFlow and Loop DepartmentTo whom it may concern in Accounting:&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;I have checked with the post office and our usual carrier and they have no idea what we're talking about.&nbsp; I showed them the tracking number...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[01 March, 2009<br /><div align="right">BPL Pickup Team<br />Flow and Loop Department<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />To whom it may concern in Accounting:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;I have checked with the post office and our usual carrier and they have no idea what we're talking about.&nbsp; I showed them the tracking number (0098TF0002BNW8977), and they have no record of it.&nbsp; I know you think you are sure but I just want to ask you again if the Stimulus Package is actually in a Package.&nbsp; Maybe someone in Washington is having a bit of fun with you.&nbsp; If it's really as valuable as you say, I'm sure they'll resend it when it's returned to them.&nbsp; Also I think the Pennsylvania Avenue return address is a little suspicious.&nbsp; Anyway I don't know where else to look.&nbsp; Maybe you can have them send it to you via PayPal- I think that have that down there.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Anyway good luck- let me know how it turns out!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-Steve<br />Auto Pool Custodian<br /> ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>BPL-003, MORANIC MISSION TO MONTANA</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/02/bpl003.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.18</id>

    <published>2009-02-10T06:54:02Z</published>
    <updated>2009-12-20T22:16:57Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[BPL-003MORANIC MISSION TO MONTANARev. 1 November, 2008Rev. 2 January, 2009 (early release; subject to update)Rev. 3 December, 2009see BPL-003 Page at the BPl website:http://browerpropulsionlab.com/directory/BPL_003_MMM_Moranic_Mission_to_MontanaMISSION UPDATEThe BPL-003 Mission Launch Window for 2009 closed in August. &nbsp;It got stuck but we've finally...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[BPL-003<br />MORANIC MISSION TO MONTANA<br /><br />Rev. 1 November, 2008<br />Rev. 2 January, 2009 (early release; subject to update)<div>Rev. 3 December, 2009</div><div><br />see BPL-003 Page at the BPl website:<br /><a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/directory/BPL_003_MMM_Moranic_Mission_to_Montana">http://browerpropulsionlab.com/directory/BPL_003_MMM_Moranic_Mission_to_Montana</a><br />MISSION UPDATE</div><div>The BPL-003 Mission Launch Window for 2009 closed in August. &nbsp;It got stuck but we've finally managed to get it reopened. &nbsp;The Launch for BPL-003 is now scheduled for September 2010. &nbsp;Everything planned for the mission is still in place. &nbsp;Just not the right place yet. &nbsp;We have rewritten this press kit for the new schedule and would like to announce some developments. &nbsp;(1), The exhibition of the BPL-003 Mission equipment and results at the Esther Klein Art Gallery is scheduled for 22 January, 2010. &nbsp;Instead of mission results, we'll be displaying test results, which will look exactly the same to the un-aerospacey lay-individual. &nbsp;(2), BPL has started a project with Kickstarter, a web-based progenitor of funding for endeavors such as this one. &nbsp;We ask that you look at their website for information about <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/brower/moranic-mission-to-montana-bpl-003-a-space-miss">The Moranic Mission To Montana (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/brower/moranic-mission-to-montana-bpl-003-a-space-miss)</a>.<br />MISSION OVERVIEW<br />
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="BPL-003_Mascot_prairie_dog.gif" src="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/BPL-003_Mascot_prairie_dog.gif" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" height="194" width="127" /></span>
The Brower Propulsion Laboratory announces its third full - scale exploration mission, entitled BPL-003 MMM (Moranic Mission to Montana).&nbsp; The project entails retracing the path of an expedition that included the painter Thomas Moran to the Yellowstone region in 1871, only this time using robotic spacecraft.&nbsp; Manufacturing and testing began in the Fall of 2008 and launch is scheduled for September, 2010.&nbsp; Operations will take place near Yellowstone National Park at Livingston, Montana, and will involve an unprecedented coordination of three different spacecraft: a lander, a rover, and a high altitude balloon.&nbsp; During the mission, a remote headquarters and mission control will be set up at Livingston, in the upstairs of the 'Visions West' Gallery, where visitors will be invited to participate in the expedition.&nbsp; Operations will be available on the Interweb, with several user-accessible "interactive" features.&nbsp; At the conclusion of the mission, the spacecraft and processed data will be put on public display.&nbsp; Before the launch date a small public exhibition of plans and documents will be on view at the Pushkin Institute, in Athens, Greece, which sounds very important. &nbsp;Testing and display of the vehicles will take place at Parker's Box, Brooklyn New York (<a href="http://parkersbox.com/">parkersbox.com</a>), and again at the Esther Klein Art Gallery, part of the University City Science Center, in Philadelphia (<a href="http://www.kleinartgallery.org/">http://www.kleinartgallery.org/</a>). &nbsp;As with all our work, the vehicles and equipment used in this mission will be completely hand made by BPL's single employee, to conserve funds and expectations.&nbsp; Operations and updates will be made available on the interweb at: <a href="http://www.browerpropulsionlab.com">http://www.browerpropulsionlab.com</a>.&nbsp; See the end of this document for further contact information.<br /><br />MISSION OBJECTIVES<br /><br />The mission will take place near Livingston, Montana.&nbsp; Analysis of this active volcanic region will be conducted from several perspectives.&nbsp; Mission Objectives include:<br />(1) to assess the history of the region not only geologically, but also pseudoscientifically, i.e., aesthetically;<br />(2) to locate and access fuel sources that will help the United States end its Dependence On Foreign Oil (DOFO);<br />(3) to answer one of the most fundamental questions confronting mankind today: Is there Life on Earth?;<br />(4) to determine the nicest views in the area;<br />(5) to present Brower Propulsion Laboratory with a wide range of problems we have no idea how to solve, so that we may have something to do;<br />(6) to invent solutions to these problems so that we may deepen our understanding of the world and its systems, even though this understanding is apt to be trite, shallow, and a part of common knowledge to many people outside the lab, and<br />(7) to present our findings to a very narrow but perhaps widening audience that will hopefully be dazzled by the breadth of our enterprise, if not the depth.<br /><br />The mission will include three space vehicles: The MUNIN 2 lander, the LIMPER 2 rover, and the ICARUS high altitude balloon.&nbsp; The MUNIN 2 lander will act as a base for cameras and experiments, as a garage to the LIMPER 2 rover, and as a launch platform to the ICARUS balloon.&nbsp; A variety of science experiments and data collection systems will be included on each vehicle.<br /><br />(Acronyms: LIMPER stands for <u>Limited Intelligence Marginally Produced Exploration Rover</u>, and ICARUS stands for <u>Intentionally Cheap Airborne Reusable Utility System</u>.&nbsp; IHAVE is the <u>ICARUS High Altitude Vehicle Element</u>, a fun but pointless moniker.&nbsp; MUNIN originally didn't stand for anything but an element in a Norse legend, but it has been updated to <u>Module for Unmanned Novel Investigation and Notation</u>.)<br /><br />MISSION BACKGROUND<br /><br />In 1871, the American painter Thomas Moran was included on a U.S. Geological Survey tour of the Yellowstone region.&nbsp; The small sketches he produced on this trip became the source material for gigantic paintings depicting the grandeur and beauty of the American west.&nbsp; The paintings were brought to the U.S. congress and used to stimulate interest in creating a National Parks system.&nbsp; Convinced by the notion that the United States possessed resources that matched and exceeded Europe's, the preservation and access to these natural wonders became a matter of national pride, not to mention economic expansion.&nbsp; The National Parks were established and in the same act, 10 million acres of land were given to the Northwest Pacific railroad, with the mandate of creating that access.&nbsp; As it happens, Moran's inclusion on the expedition had been sponsored by the owners of the railroad.&nbsp; A couple of years later saw the bankrupting of the Northwest Pacific company during the Panic of 1873, and the connection of the midwest to the west coast was delayed by bank failures, burst investment bubbles, and restructuring.&nbsp; When finally completed, the rails were used for a hundred years to shuttle tourists, prospectors, industrial goods and raw materials into and out of the area.&nbsp; Ultimately the railroad pulled out of the region, and plays only a tiny role today. The town of Livingston, Montana is a kind of museum to this history, having been created and then abandoned by the railroad.&nbsp; More recently, it was discovered that the supply of drinking water to the town was tainted with thousands of gallons of spilled Diesel fuel and chemicals dumped during train maintenance.&nbsp; The town, once the location of one of the largest repair facilities&nbsp; for the railroad, is now home to perhaps a dozen art galleries, which cater to tourists and wealthy second home owners in the area.&nbsp; Nearby Yellowstone National Park, the nation's first and best known, continues to draw enormous numbers of visitors.&nbsp; Perhaps because of its prominence, it is also the center of heated debates about ecology, resource management, and development.&nbsp; The carefully maintained structures in the park tend to mask these debates and many of the visitors pass through the park's boundaries unaware of their extent.&nbsp; Into this context BPL wants to inject some questions: Why is the pursuit of life on other planets so interesting when no one gives a rat's ass about it on Earth?&nbsp; Is the 'nature' that attracts tourists the same 'nature' that attracts explorers?&nbsp; Are tourists Aliens?&nbsp; What is the relationship between corporations and environmental stewardship?&nbsp; Is it better to send robots to national parks, or can a human being do more useful visiting than any robot ever could?&nbsp; How could a mere artist have had such a large impact on a place (and still be widely unknown)?&nbsp; Can you run a solar panel on Diesel fuel?<br /><br /><br />EXPERIMENTS<br />(To date, a number of experimental platforms are being studied.&nbsp; Which ones appear in the mission ultimately depends on the kind of sponsorship we can drum up.&nbsp; But we know the vehicles will be shiny)<br /><br />The spacecraft will be using carefully designed experiments to detect signs of life, good composition, and exploitable resources in this geologically varied region.&nbsp; BPL sincerely hopes this battery of experiments will finally put to rest the debate that rages over whether or not life exists on Earth, or at least finds a way to end American Dependence On Foreign Oil (DOFO).&nbsp; If nothing else, we are guaranteed to get some nice photos of mountains and rivers.<br />Cameras and devices on the spacecraft will be accessible from the internet.&nbsp; Viewers will not only be able to survey the alien landscape and creatures of Montana, but also observe each of the vehicles as they go about their duties.&nbsp; Some will even participate directly in the mission by taking turns controlling the vehicles.<br /><br />Cameras and various bait - activated devices will be used on the Munin 2 and Limper 2 spacecraft to detect larger, more complex biota.&nbsp; BPL's nutrition experts are devising menus for bait to attract birds, pronghorn antelope, and southerners, for instance.&nbsp; While photographs and recorded feeding rates will be obtained, this information alone cannot determine absolutely the existence or non existence of life.&nbsp; BPL hopes that thorough analysis of all the data brought in by the mission the question can be brought to a vote.<br /><br />Another experiment will feature drilling through the ancient breccia of the surface for the insertion of probes to measure volatile organic chemicals.&nbsp; Earlier surveys have detected a cache of thousands of gallons of diesel fuel floating on top of an aquifer of fresh water near the Yellowstone River.&nbsp; Obviously the access to and exploitation of this fuel source could eliminate America's DOFO instantly.&nbsp; The drilling and probe devices are connected to the deck of the Munin 2 spacecraft, and samples will be taken by a robotic arm.<br /><br />Studies of the areas originally visited and depicted by the painter Thomas Moran will be conducted.&nbsp; The optics on board the Limper 2 will be used with novel software to determine the relative qualities of different natural vistas. Algorithms based on the world's "best" works of art will be used in the analysis of the compositions as they are created, in an effort to finally determine the best views available.&nbsp; It is BPL's hope that tourists may stop wasting their time looking around in an inefficient manner for beauty. The aesthetic budget of the tourist is shrinking and BPL's unique technology will play a role in the future of 'Picturesque Conservation'.&nbsp; Our scout's paintings done during a preliminary tour of the area in 2008 will be used to calibrate Limper's machine vision system. &nbsp;UPDATE- A very successful test of this software was conducted in the summer of 2009, during a Beauty Contest at Parker's Box in Brooklyn. &nbsp;Images of attendees of a lecture given by a BPL representative were compared with a Thomas Moran painting, which was used as a standard of beauty.<br /><br />The launch of the Icarus High Altitude Vehicle Element (IHAVE) will be controlled by some lucky internet participant.&nbsp; The vehicle will be inflated with helium, checked out and launched entirely by remote control from the deck of the Munin 2 lander.&nbsp; It should reach the lower troposphere before it returns by parachute to earth with its trove of data and images. Recovery of the vehicle will be a matter of public participation, involving ceremonies, prizes, consumption rituals, and high adventure. &nbsp;Participants will learn something about radio science, see their environment from a different perspective, and get a primer on trespassing.<br /><br />ACCESS<br />More information will be available about the mission at <a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com">browerpropulsionlab.com</a>.&nbsp; A public exhibition will be set up concurrent with the mission in Livingston.&nbsp; Features of this exhibition will include the Remote Mission Control, monitoring station, and Headquarters for recovery operations for the IHAVE module.&nbsp; At the end of the mission, artifacts and data will be displayed.&nbsp; Interactive elements will still be functional for demonstrative purposes, and in a desperate attempt to generate interest in BPL's next endeavor.&nbsp; Throughout the mission, concerned parties will be given chances to control each of the mission elements for certain periods.&nbsp; These time slots will be won through some greed-oriented gimmick.<br /><br />PRE-MISSION ACTIVITIES<br />Experiments and mission updates will be posted on the BPL website, <a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com">browerpropulsionlab.com</a>. The assembly of the entire mission will be available in the form of '<a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/BPL_How-To">How-to</a>' documents, that explain our unique procedures, and also the ones we found in 'how-to' documents on websites. This didactic gesture is meant to appeal to the vanity of otherwise idle consumers by suggesting that any jerk can create his own space mission, which everyone knows is ludicrous.<br /><br /><br />MISSION SUPPORT<br />Cheap memorabilia pertaining to the MMM mission will be made available in an attempt to raise vital funds for the project. &nbsp;Perhaps more significantly, opportunities will be available to sponsor the development of specific experiments and equipment being invented for the mission.&nbsp; A list of available sponsorship opportunities will be made available to all Sincere, Unselfish, Creative, Kind, Erudite, Reliable Supporters (SUCKERS).</div><div>UPDATE:</div><div>Because of the discovery of Kickstarter, we have suspended our SUCKERS program and invite potential SUCKERS to direct their attention to the project at the <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/brower/moranic-mission-to-montana-bpl-003-a-space-miss">Kickstarter site (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/brower/moranic-mission-to-montana-bpl-003-a-space-miss)</a>.<br />BPL directs the reader to all of the historical and documentary information about the company available at browerpropulsionlab.com.&nbsp; There can be found the 'block diagram of corporate structure', a document outlining BPL's official history and philosophy, a selection of important memos from our archives, as well as detailed mission reports, experiments, and up to the minute video of our laboratories and new dog. &nbsp;<a href="https://bpl-solutions.com/">Our Sales And Distribution Node (SADN) is open for business (https://bpl-solutions.com/)</a>. &nbsp;Our technical support telephone number has proven useful to our clients as well: (888) BPL-1848.<br /><br />Brower Propulsion Laboratory<br />Headquarters and Cafeteria<br />393 Bushwick Avenue<br />Brooklyn, NY&nbsp; 11206<br /><br />Manufacturing Division and Diagnostic Node<br />Brooklyn Navy Yard<br />Building 280, Suite 509, Unit 256<br />63 Flushing Avenue<br />Brooklyn, NY&nbsp; 11205<br /><br /><a href="http://www.browerpropulsionlab.com/">www.browerpropulsionlab.com</a><br />Offices: (718) 879-8924<br />Technical Support (toll free) (888) BPL-1848<br /><br />The Esther M. Klein Art Gallery at the Science Center<br />3600 Market Street<br />Philadelphia, Pa 19104<br />Mailing address:<br />3711 Market Street Suite 800<br />Philadelphia, PA&nbsp; 19104<br /><a href="http://www.kleinartgallery.org/">www.kleinartgallery.org</a><br /><br />Visions West Gallery:<br />108 South Main Street, Livingston, MT 59047<br /><a href="http://www.visionswestgallery.com/">www.visionswestgallery.com</a><br />---------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />this page intentionally left blank<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />this page was going to be intentionally left blank, but the necessity of stating the intention made it impossible to leave blank<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/"><img alt="Brower Propulsion Laboratory" src="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/brower_propulsion_laboratory.png" class="mt-image-center" style="margin: 0pt auto 20px; text-align: center; display: block;" border="0" height="98" width="129" /></a></span><br /><div><br /></div></div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Tolerance</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2009/01/tolerance.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2009://4.19</id>

    <published>2009-01-20T17:34:52Z</published>
    <updated>2009-06-03T23:40:19Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[20 January, 2009Office of ToleranceDepartment of StandardsManufacturing DivisionBPL Navy Yard FacilityMEMO*****************************************************************&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Effective Immediately the Tolerance office will be switching over to the new Standards.&nbsp; As everyone on the shop floor knows, our ability to control quality has been uneven at...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[<div align="right"><div align="left">20 January, 2009<br /></div>Office of Tolerance<br />Department of Standards<br />Manufacturing Division<br />BPL Navy Yard Facility<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center">MEMO<br />*****************************************************************<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Effective Immediately the Tolerance office will be switching over to the new Standards.&nbsp; As everyone on the shop floor knows, our ability to control quality has been uneven at best.&nbsp; In fact, some in the management section have suggested that we have wavered between "half-assed" and "full-assed" since the company's inception.&nbsp; While we in the Tolerance office take umbrage at these amusing but emotionally hurtful quips, we accept the basic truth that BPL's quality is quite low, compared to industry standards.<br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Military and Aerospace specifications for everything from fastener sizes to metallurgical properties have been employed by all companies of our ilk until now.<br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;To address these quality concerns, Management has decided to issue our own Standards, tailored to our particular techniques and capacities.&nbsp; Instead of using Military Specifications (MS or Milspec), we will be using BPL Specifications (BS).&nbsp; This flexible and adaptable code will allow us to gain market share moving forward and at the end of the day will prevent quality complaints, or at least will give us a legal basis for countersuits.&nbsp; Instead of getting bogged down in the exact size of a hole for a given fastener, we will generally refer to MS or NAS (Aerospace) standards, but if the situation does not allow for this kind of precision, we will switch over to our more robust BS standards. &nbsp;<br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;We know it will take some getting used to, and that some, especially those in the Milling Section, will not want to accept the new Standard.&nbsp; Gradually we expect the level of quality surrounding these stalwart holdouts to reach a level where they can no longer resist the tide of change.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;The new Standard should be thought of not so much as a rule book, but more as an ethos, a way of thinking.&nbsp; BPL is certain to burrow even farther into the niche it has carved for itself in the Aerospace industry with the implementation of BS.&nbsp; We expect others to follow our lead, especially in this economy.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />questions and comments to mail stop 1848. ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Memo- Voided BPL Stock Certificates</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2008/08/memo-voided-bpl-stock-certific.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2008://4.17</id>

    <published>2008-08-23T01:53:00Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-23T01:55:37Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[BPL Headquarters, Bushwick, Brooklyn, New York, USAOffice Of Voided Documents, Department Of Artificial Aspects, Marketing Section, Propaganda Division20 March, 2008***********************M E M O R A N D U M***********************&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;The Enclosed Brower Propulsion Laboratory Stock Certificate has been declared 'Null...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[BPL Headquarters, Bushwick, Brooklyn, New York, USA<br />Office Of Voided Documents, Department Of Artificial Aspects, Marketing Section, Propaganda Division<br /><br /><br /><br />20 March, 2008<br /><br /><br /><br />***********************M E M O R A N D U M***********************<br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;The Enclosed Brower Propulsion Laboratory Stock Certificate has been declared 'Null and Void' by this office for the purposes of flashing it around and trying to seduce prospective investors.&nbsp; It should be pointed out that, due to the unique nature of Brower Propulsion Laboratory's Corporate Structure, this document loses none of its intrinsic value despite its nullification.&nbsp; In fact, to date, as this is the only 'Null and Void' document in the entire BPL Filing System, it is unique, and therefore a teeny bit more valuable than its "fully valid" counterparts.&nbsp; Collectors of such ephemera as 'double minted coins' and 'Inverted Jenny' stamps should be expected to greedily paw at this singular piece of history.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Speaking of which, the intended purpose of the document, alluded to earlier, is to provide physical evidence of the possession of shares in this recently incorporated aerospace manufacturing company.&nbsp; New owners of shares of BPL will gain membership to a burgeoning American Elite.&nbsp; They will not be subjected to the traditional tedium of following their stock's value over time; nor will they have to worry about making decisions and voting for or against plans concerning the Company's future.&nbsp; Because the Company is incorporated under its own laws (see mention of Soloanthropy in the Brower Propulsion Laboratory Corporate Philosophy-Doc# BPL-05607), it doesn't have to answer to external regulations.&nbsp; Moreover, the company hasn't really got any profit motive, employees, or tangible capital, other than some funny gadgets and a 1978 Mercedes 300 Deisel.&nbsp; In essence, you get what you pay for, an unprecedented phenomenon in American investment.&nbsp; Because of this innovation, just one of many to BPL's credit, Company profits will always increase, and investor risk never will.&nbsp; This worry - free kind of investment may indeed someday become the standard by which all American companies are judged.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Brower Propulsion Laboratory stock is fully guaranteed for the life of the investment and can be exchanged at any time for more stock.&nbsp; There is no limit to the number of shares that can be purchased, although investors must submit to having their contact information entered into BPL's Stock Ledger, held at BPL Headquarters.&nbsp; Price of stock varies; its value does not. ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>BPL-002, Outsourcing Mission To China</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2008/08/bpl002-outsourcing-mission-to.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2008://4.16</id>

    <published>2008-08-23T01:48:13Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-23T01:51:07Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[20 February, 2008BPL Corporate HeadquartersBushwick, Brooklyn, New YorkPropaganda Division,Office of Identification,Department of Trinkets***************************PUBLIC MEMORANDUM***************************&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;It has come to the attention of the Executive office that a BPL employee's girlfriend has been given the opportunity to visit China for six (6)...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[20 February, 2008<br /><br />BPL Corporate Headquarters<br />Bushwick, Brooklyn, New York<br />Propaganda Division,<br />Office of Identification,<br />Department of Trinkets<br /><br />***************************PUBLIC MEMORANDUM***************************<br /><br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;It has come to the attention of the Executive office that a BPL employee's girlfriend has been given the opportunity to visit China for six (6) weeks.&nbsp; Certainly, this turn of events represents some kind of achievement on her part, some accolade or accomplishment worthy of applause. But we are not concerned with that happy circumstance at this juncture.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;What we at BPL are interested in is the fact that this could be an opportunity to finally have a BPL product manufactured in China.&nbsp; This would represent yet another notch in our corporate belt, legitimacy-wise.&nbsp; And you, fair member of the consuming public, can help.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Brower Propulsion Laboratory must raise $1,226.47 USD (at least) to send our employee to China on a secret mission.&nbsp; Ostensibly, he will be there to help her with the aforementioned accomplishment, but in reality, he will be carrying out BPL-002, our second official mission.&nbsp; He will be making, by hand, small, tourist style landscape paintings of the Chinese landscape in Henan province and environs.&nbsp; These products will represent BPL's foray into global manufacturing.&nbsp; In keeping with BPL's other activities, this mission will be underfunded and lack in certain vital components, such as intellect,&nbsp; but will at least be guaranteed to be accomplished (owing to low expectations).<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;WHAT YOU CAN DO:<br />To help Brower Propulsion Laboratory carry out its second mission, you can send a check or money order to:<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Steven Brower<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;393 Bushwick Avenue<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Brooklyn, NY&nbsp; 11206<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;USA<br />Please make this instrument payable to "Steven Brower"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;WHAT YOU WILL GET:<br />At the completion of the mission you will receive by post:<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;1) Hand made-in-China-by-American landscape sketch art painting or similar, at least 5" X 7" in dimension, signed, dated, and otherwise verified at the point of manufacture.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;2) Complete BPL Mission Report, in inimitable yet cheap BPL style<br />FOR ADDITIONAL DONATIONS BEYOND THE 50 BUCKS, YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE:<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;3) A Certificate Of Authenticity, suitable for filing, which describes your artwork painting sketch in exhaustive detail, places it in the context of other patrons' gifts, numerically, and is wax-sealed and shiny.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;4) One (1) share of BPL, represented by our new "Stock Certificate", which, while having no cash value, is nonetheless quite sincere, gesture-wise.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;It is hardly necessary to emphasize the importance for BPL to have a global presence.&nbsp; As the smallest and least well equipped of all known aerospace manufacturing companies, we have to be innovative when it comes to production.&nbsp; For instance, we can think of no other company that doesn't even pay its employees as a matter of policy.&nbsp; So for us to have a facility in China, spewing out our products at unheard of rates and for unheard of rates, albeit manifested as just one person doodling on a kind of vacation, is a chance of a lifetime.&nbsp; If BPL is something you have never heard of, please look at our website, browerpropulsionlab.com, or that of one of our employees, stevenbrower.com.&nbsp; At these sites you can download information about past missions and half-assed plans, previous schemes and future intentions. &nbsp;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;This mission is scheduled to take place beginning in mid April, 2008.&nbsp; Multiple orders are welcomed, but pre payment is necessary.&nbsp; You should receive your Mission Relics by the beginning of June, 2008.&nbsp; If you would like an email update of the mission planning and other "progress", just let us know. <br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;From the management team at BPL, we want to sincerely thank you for your support, such as it is.&nbsp; ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>PIST- BPL&apos;s Phone Integrated Service Terminal</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2008/08/pist-bpls-phone-integrated-ser.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2008://4.15</id>

    <published>2008-08-16T12:03:58Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-16T12:07:08Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[BPL Headquarters,Bushwick, Brooklyn, New York, USA10 March, 2008********PROJECT DOCUMENT - NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION********BROWER PROPULSION LABORATORY PHONE INTEGRATED SERVICE TERMINAL (PIST)CONTENTS:SCRIPT FOR AUTOMATED, TELEPHONE ACCESSED PUBLIC LIASON, ONLY LESS SO.Notes: main menu numbered items 1-6.&nbsp; Sub menus labeled 1.x, 1.x.x, etc....]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[BPL Headquarters,<br />Bushwick, Brooklyn, New York, USA<br />10 March, 2008<br /><br />********PROJECT DOCUMENT - NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION********<br />BROWER PROPULSION LABORATORY PHONE INTEGRATED SERVICE TERMINAL (PIST)<br /><br />CONTENTS:<br />SCRIPT FOR AUTOMATED, TELEPHONE ACCESSED PUBLIC LIASON, ONLY LESS SO.<br />Notes: main menu numbered items 1-6.&nbsp; Sub menus labeled 1.x, 1.x.x, etc. Audio portions generally between * and *; excluding items between &lt; and &gt; and indicating numbers.<br /><br />**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************<br />OGM:<br />*&nbsp; Hello, and welcome to Brower Propulsion Laboratory's PIST system.&nbsp; The Phone Integrated Service Terminal's Menu has changed so please listen carefully.&nbsp; You can access the Main Menu at any time by pressing (1).&nbsp; To get serviced even faster, you can find BPL on the Web at browerpropulsionlab.com.&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br />1. &lt;Main Menu&gt;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; To hear a brief description of BPL's products, services, philosophy, history, purpose, background, provenance, credentials, legal peccadilloes, and prospects, press (2);<br /><br />2.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; To hear a list of current BPL Mission Descriptions, press (3);<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<br />3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To access our VRCE System, our Voice Recognition Character Emulator, so that you may use your voice rather than your keypad to navigate the PIST System, press (4);<br /><br />4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; For complaints and technical questions, press (5);<br /><br />5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To order replacement parts for any of BPL's spacecraft, or for other orders, press (6);<br /><br />6.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To hear this Menu again, press (1)&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br />1.1 &lt;BPL History&gt;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; BPL originates, develops, and prosecutes space missions with little or no money and very little know-how.&nbsp; Its various departments, offices, positions, and assets are all represented by one person, for the sake of convenience.&nbsp; BPL positions itself at the forefront of the aerospace industry in terms of its lack of resources and capabilities.&nbsp; Founded late in the 20th century, Brower Propulsion Laboratory was created to fill a niche in the aerospace field.&nbsp; While many large corporations and small companies have been formed to satisfy military, scientific, and prestige goals, none have yet been organized around the principal of disutility.&nbsp; The missions that BPL creates and carries out are developed in spite of the lack of many elements that other organizations find indispensable.&nbsp; For instance, the absence of a skill and knowledge base at BPL does not hinder its progress in the least.&nbsp; Similarly, the fact that BPL possesses neither assets nor appreciable income does not prevent it from completing missions.&nbsp; Having no staff or employees is not an impediment.&nbsp; The reason these things don't matter in the case of BPL, but would cripple any normal company, is simply that BPL is only motivated by doing.&nbsp; The basic goal of each mission at BPL is to do something.&nbsp; While this goal hovers in the background of every exploratory or inquisitive endeavor undertaken by individual or corporation, rarely does it maintain its prominence when compared with other motivational options such as profit, prestige, dominance, sustenance, mating, etc.&nbsp; BPL has become the leading innovator with this technique in the industry.&nbsp; To date, BPL has executed numerous missions and tests, and has constructed a whole line of equipment of limited utility.&nbsp; Our projects include: The complete reconstruction of a Lunar Excursion Module Ascent Stage, originally as employee housing, then as a public feasibility demonstration.&nbsp; Our LEM is now hanging in the Museum Of Flight, in Seattle, Washington. We constructed a reiteration of the Apollo era A7lB space suit used on the moon in the 1970's.&nbsp; Our Munin and Limper exploration missions are ongoing, and we recently completed BPL-001, Conrad Carpenter's Funeral Mission, which launched the deceased astronaut-handyman's remains into the atmosphere over his ancestral birthplace in Wales, UK.&nbsp; Our future projects will include a docking mission, and several new balloon based experiments, as well as BPL-002, a manufacturing expansion to China.<br /><br />1.2&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To hear a list of current BPL Mission Descriptions, press (3);<br />&nbsp;<br />1.3&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To return to the Main Menu, press (1);<br /><br />1.4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To hear a historical recording of the first BPL press conference, press (2);<br /><br />1.5&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To order stock in BPL, press (6)&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br /><br />2.1 &lt;Current Missions&gt;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Currently BPL is working on MUNIN, LIMPER, BPL-002, a manufacturing mission in China, and BPL-003, a docking mission between a BPL spacecraft and various earthbound objects.&nbsp; The LIMPER rover mission is an attempt to conduct an extraterrestrial exploration mission without leaving the Earth, which is much less expensive and dirty than going all the way to Mars.&nbsp; With mathematics, we can extrapolate everything we need to know about other planets so that we never need to go anywhere.&nbsp; We can just stay in our room if we want....&nbsp; Munin is a lander based on the 1970's Viking project.&nbsp; BPL's mission will use the science of the 1970's to prove that there is no life on Earth. As these missions are capital intensive, and BPL is still recovering from a financial scandal involving a high priced call-center ring, progress is slow.&nbsp; See the website for details.&nbsp; BPL-002 is a 'piggy back' mission to China.&nbsp; An employee's partner was invited to China for legitimate purposes.&nbsp; Seizing the opportunity, BPL has arranged to send our man along, equipped with a custom made AAS, or Art Application System, so that he may execute touristic sketch art paintings, which will be sold to our non existent clients upon his return.&nbsp; This is an extremely economical way for BPL to expand its production base to China, just like every other American company, and we expect this process to add greatly to our legitimacy, if not our coffers.&nbsp; In a single occupancy company like BPL, outsourcing and travel coincide. <br /><br />2.2&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To hear Mission Control Live, press (2);<br /><br />2.3&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; To hear the thought of the day, press (3)&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br /><br />3.1 &lt;VRCE System&gt;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Welcome to the VRCE System, BPL's voice recognition Character Emulator, part of the PIST System, the Phone Integrated Service Terminal of Brower Propulsion Laboratory.&nbsp; To initiate the system, without pressing any buttons, and we can't emphasize this enough - you wouldn't believe how many people push buttons at this point, so please, just speak without your hands, and say "Knickers and Cheesy Fries"...&lt;pause&gt; You said "Bumper Sticker", is that right?...&lt;pause&gt;Please say "Knickers and Cheesy Fries" directly into the part of the phone that is not pressed against your ear...&lt;pause&gt; I'm sorry, you said "parsley with a hint of butter and a six pack of wine coolers".&nbsp; To initiate the system we will need to get a sample of your voice so that our patented software can adjust to your particular speaking patterns.&nbsp; Please speak slowly and clearly and say "I guess it depends on what the definition of is is, and if is is not what you say it is, then what is it?"...&lt;pause&gt; You said "truck it", is that right?&nbsp; I'll return you to the main menu while you decide whether or not you want to cooperate.&nbsp; Thanks!&nbsp; * &lt;call is routed back to (1)&gt;<br />***********************************************************************************<br /><br />4.1 &lt;Complaints&gt;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Welcome to the Troubleshooting Department.&nbsp; Please find someplace comfortable to ensconce yourself, maybe go to the bathroom first and call back if you have a cord on your phone, as this may take a while, due, needless to say, to Brower Propulsion Laboratory's unrelenting commitment to service, divided by prodigious call volume.&nbsp; We wouldn't want you to be distracted while we take your very important information, and we wouldn't want you somehow to be tempted to lash out at innocent phone operators, just because you are not prepared to go through the Troubleshooting process.&nbsp; <br /><br />4.2&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; If you have a question about installation or adjustment of a BPL Spacecraft, press (2);<br /><br />4.3&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; If you have found a BPL product on your property or what used to be your property, press (3);<br /><br />4.4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Please note that while the PIST system is functioning 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we are closed for Easter &lt;Andrew, this is an Easter Egg clue; ps advise&gt;.&nbsp; To complain about this, press (...)<br /><br />4.5&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; If you have a complaint not covered so far by this menu, please reduce your level of expectation and try again.&nbsp; If you still have a problem, push buttons at random.&nbsp; Remember, you can't reduce your score by guessing.&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br /><br />5.1 &lt;Ordering&gt; &lt;pushing (2) or (3) here does nothing&gt;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Thank you for ordering genuine Brower Propulsion Laboratory replacement parts.&nbsp; Our products are unconditionally guaranteed to last the lifetime of the product.&nbsp; And sometimes even longer.&nbsp; Each BPL spacecraft is composed entirely of custom made components generated in our manufacturing section, excepting in other instances.&nbsp; All parts are in stock and many are interchangeable.&nbsp; Many parts have something to do with computers.&nbsp; To efficiently direct your call, please answer the following questions using your touchtone keypad.&nbsp; Is the part you want long and skinny, or short and fat?&nbsp; Press (2) or (3) respectively.&nbsp; Is the part you want bumpy or smooth? again with the (2) or (3).&nbsp; Can you fit the part you want in your pocket or is it a little too big? Press (2) for pocket sized, and (3) for over pocket sized.&nbsp; Finally, is the part you're looking for particularly smelly, or does it have no discernible odor?&nbsp; (2) or (3)...&lt;pause&gt; We don't have that part, sorry.<br /><br />5.2&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; If you would like to purchase stock in Brower Propulsion Laboratory, press (4).&nbsp; Buying stock in BPL is a good idea, because you always know your stock is of the same high quality as all BPL's other great products - and each share in the company comes with a guarantee.&nbsp; So press (4).<br /><br />5.3&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; If you'd like to order some other BPL product, such as our 'Pill To Give Astronauts The Sensation Of Shopping', press (5)&nbsp; *<br /><br />5.4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Brower Propulsion Laboratory also offers a number of products you can order for your own space program, or to reduce your surplus resources.&nbsp; These include selections from the "Space Bodega", vacuum dried, salted and compressed prepared snack food products in sealed '5G' containers; a device to allow astronauts to smoke cigarettes in low pressure environments; a nose beacon for hip but lost astronauts, 'Squeet', squeezable meat, in a host of flavors with condiment compartments, so that astronauts may create sandwiches without utensils, or for direct ingestion from the tube; a line of 'Prantiques', or pre-antiques, which, briefly, are anticipatory products that are not yet made in expectation of their appearance in the nostalgia market, at which point they are actually created in small numbers to increase their value.&nbsp; These include future space films about the past which has not yet occurred, and post preretro jewelry found in tombs launched into space on future BPL Missions.&nbsp; Other products include a test space suit for vacuum chamber work with a chimp or precocious orphan; a space rated watercolor set, called an AAS, or Art Application System, various aluminum geology tools, working but funny digital cameras, surplus electronic equipment, paintings and drawings, posters, paraphernalia, advice, and a dog walking service.&nbsp; Also you can order a BPL t shirt, or one of the Art Tourist China Manufacturing Mission Painting Sketches, to be created during BPL-002. Oh, press (6).&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br />SPECIAL RECORDINGS<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; S1.Press Conference...<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; S2.Mission Control Live...<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; S3.Thought of the day...<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; S4.Final message:<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; *&nbsp; Please leave a brief message for the Team at BPL, or press (1) to return to the main menu.&nbsp; Please be succinct and detailed.&nbsp; If you fail to satisfy these simple conditions, you may not be called back.&nbsp; These lines are not monitored for quality assurance.&nbsp; Too much trouble, frankly.&nbsp; You may only leave one message per four hour period, which should be about four times as many as necessary.&nbsp; *<br />***********************************************************************************<br /><br />1.2.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = 2.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;current missions&gt;<br /><br />1.3.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = 1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;main menu&gt;<br /><br />1.4.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; =&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;audio recording S1, press conf., 10 sec., then = S4(message)&gt;<br /><br />1.5.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = 5.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;ordering&gt;<br />***********************************************************************************<br />2.2.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; =&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;mission control live- maybe calls me at (347) 223-8877?&gt;<br /><br />2.3.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; =&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;audio recording S2, thought/day, 5 sec., then = S4(message)&gt;<br />***********************************************************************************<br />3.1.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = 1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;main menu&gt;<br />***********************************************************************************<br />4.2.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = S4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;message&gt;<br /><br />4.3.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = S4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;message&gt;<br /><br />4.4.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; =&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;easter egg?&gt;<br /><br />4.5.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = S4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;message&gt;<br />***********************************************************************************<br />5.2.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = S4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;message&gt;<br /><br />5.3.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = S4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;message&gt;<br /><br />5.4.1&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; = S4&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &lt;message&gt; <br />]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>REPAIR OF PORTABLE MISSION CONTROL MAIN COMPUTER</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2008/08/repair-of-portable-mission-con.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2008://4.14</id>

    <published>2008-08-04T17:50:42Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-14T18:05:58Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[SYNOPSIS OF ISSUEArbitrary and abrupt shutdown, "Bad RTC Battery" message, orneryness.&nbsp; Investigation of the Interweb revealed a proclivity for this type of machine to malfunction due to an inferior design of a cable connector.&nbsp; Much discussion of whether or not...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[SYNOPSIS OF ISSUE<br />Arbitrary and abrupt shutdown, "Bad RTC Battery" message, orneryness.&nbsp; Investigation of the Interweb revealed a proclivity for this type of machine to malfunction due to an inferior design of a cable connector.&nbsp; Much discussion of whether or not the manufacturer designed this flaw into the machine to facilitate the increased sale of red herring batteries.&nbsp; Ultimately the remedy seems to be to resolder the connection after dismantling the computer.<br /><br />Tools:<br />soldering station<br />magnifier<br />VOM<br />miniature screwdrivers<br />toothpick<br />cotton Swab<br />home made blueberry pie wedge<br />digital camera<br /><br />
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/lr_mc_repair_004.html" onclick="window.open('http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/lr_mc_repair_004.html','popup','width=325,height=244,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img src="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/lr_mc_repair_004-thumb-120x90.jpg" alt="lr_mc_repair_004.jpg" class="mt-image-right" style="margin: 0pt 0pt 20px 20px; float: right;" height="90" width="120" /></a></span>After opening the case and removing several components, the power supply board was separated from the system board.&nbsp; The offending connector mentioned in the research documents seems to have been 'repaired' already.&nbsp; The 80 pin connector is surrounded by some kind of epoxy, so soldering any broken connections seems to be unlikely.&nbsp; Various ways of distorting and flexing the computer case and the boards were experimented with to try to get the connector to stay mated.&nbsp; All worked equally unsatisfactorily.&nbsp; The pie was consumed during deep cogitation over the problem.&nbsp; In typical BPL fashion, the machine was reassembled, thinking that having the thing put all together and having all the screws nice and tight would solve the problem, as it has on so many other occasions.&nbsp; <a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/directory/bpl_comp_rep_images/334"><img src="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/directory/bpl_comp_rep_images/t/mc_repair_002.JPG" alt="Repair 002" class="mt-image-right" style="margin: 0pt 0pt 20px 20px; float: right;" height="97" width="129" /></a>This solution was no different from those other occasions, inasmuch as it was equally unsatisfactory.&nbsp; The machine sometimes still shits the bed. The next day the machine was dismantled again and a wedge of cedar was inserted under the system board to mitigate the flexing of the case.&nbsp; Upon reassembly, not much had changed but technicians felt relieved that at least moths would not be invading the computer and causing mayhem.<br />CONCLUSION<br />The repair team is assessing options.&nbsp; One option is to obtain a ribbon cable and try to 'remote' the connection, i.e., making a hole in the case and moving the power supply board outside the machine (this bulky repair has its aesthetic appeal, and is the most marketable of the solutions tabled).&nbsp; Another idea is to find a use for the computer which would not necessitate its being on all the time or reliably, such as in prop situations, interior decoration, or various scam scenarios involving the original source for the machine (an interweb marketplace for used or Chinese commodities).&nbsp; All agree that the pain in the ass about the situation is that the machine 'almost' works fine and there is a reluctance to retire it.&nbsp; Expensive options involve acquiring a duplicate machine, with supposedly better parts,&nbsp; to double the price and volume of and for an ever - growing mound at BPL of nearly - useful, once - excellent, in need of some adjustment or cleaning, technological appurtenances. ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Public Memorandum</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2008/02/public-memorandum.html" />
    <id>tag:bpl002.browerpropulsionlab.com,2008://2.2</id>

    <published>2008-02-20T16:20:10Z</published>
    <updated>2008-04-16T09:26:47Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It has come to the attention of the Executive ofﬁce that a BPL employeeʼs girlfriend has been given the opportunity to visit China for six (6) weeks. &nbsp;Certainly, this turn of events represents some kind of achievement on her...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[<div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It has come to the attention of the Executive ofﬁce that a BPL employeeʼs girlfriend has been given the opportunity to visit China for six (6) weeks. &nbsp;Certainly, this turn of events represents some kind of achievement on her part, some accolade or accomplishment worthy of applause. But we are not concerned with that happy circumstance at this juncture.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; What we at BPL are interested in is the fact that this could be an opportunity to ﬁnally have a BPL product manufactured in China. &nbsp;This would represent yet another notch in our corporate belt, legitimacy-wise. And you, fair member of the consuming public, can help.</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Brower Propulsion Laboratory must raise $1,226.47 USD (at least) to send our employee to China. Ostensibly, he will be there to help aforementioned girlfriend with the aforementioned accomplishment, but in reality, he will be carrying out BPL-002, our second ofﬁcial mission. He will be making, by hand, small, tourist style paintings of the Chinese landscape in Henan province and environs. &nbsp;These products will represent BPLʼs foray into global manufacturing. &nbsp;In keeping with BPLʼs other activities, this mission will be underfunded and lack in certain vital components, such as intellect, but will at least be guaranteed to be accomplished (owing to low expectations).<br /><br /></div><div align="center">WHAT YOU CAN DO:&nbsp;</div><div><br />To help Brower Propulsion Laboratory carry out its second mission, you can send a check or money order for $50.00USD (negotiable) to:<br /><br /></div><div align="center"><b>Steven Brower&nbsp;</b><br /><b>393 Bushwick Avenue&nbsp;</b><br /><b>Brooklyn, NY &nbsp;11206&nbsp;</b><br /><b>USA&nbsp;</b></div><div><br />Please make this instrument payable to "Steven Brower"</div><div><br /><div align="center">WHAT YOU WILL GET:</div></div><div><br />At the completion of the mission you will receive by post:&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 1) One (1) Hand made-in-China-by-American landscape sketch art painting or similar, at least 5" X 7" in dimension, signed, dated, and otherwise veriﬁed at the point of manufacture.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 2) A complete BPL Mission Report, in inimitable yet cheap BPL style.</div><div><br />FOR ADDITIONAL DONATIONS BEYOND THE 50 BUCKS, YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE:&nbsp;</div><div><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 3) A Certiﬁcate Of Authenticity, suitable for ﬁling, which describes your artwork painting sketch in exhaustive detail, places it in the context of other patronsʼ gifts, numerically, and is wax-sealed and shiny.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 4) One (1) share of BPL, represented by our new "Stock Certiﬁcate", which, while having no cash value, is nonetheless quite sincere, gesture-wise.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It is hardly necessary to emphasize the importance for BPL to have a global presence. &nbsp;As the smallest and least well equipped of all known aerospace manufacturing companies, we have to be innovative when it comes to production. &nbsp;For instance, we can think of no other company that doesnʼt even pay its employees as a matter of policy. &nbsp;So for us to have a facility in China, spewing out our products at unheard of rates and for unheard of rates, albeit manifested as just one person doodling on a kind of vacation, is a chance of a lifetime. &nbsp;If BPL is something you have never heard of, please look at our website, <a href="http://browerpropulsionlab.com/">browerpropulsionlab.com</a>, or that of one of our employees, <a href="http://stevenbrower.com/">stevenbrower.com</a>. &nbsp;At these sites you can download information about past missions and half-assed plans, previous schemes and future intentions.</div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; This mission is scheduled to take place beginning in mid April, 2008. &nbsp;Multiple orders are welcomed, but pre-payment is necessary, and hardly refundable. &nbsp;You should receive your Mission Relics by the beginning of June, 2008. &nbsp;If you would like an email update of the mission planning and other "progress", just let us know.</div><div><br /></div><div>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; From the management team at BPL, we want to sincerely thank you for your support, such as it is.&nbsp;</div></div> ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Pecuniary Interests</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/2008/01/pecuniary-interests.html" />
    <id>tag:memo.browerpropulsionlab.com,2008://4.12</id>

    <published>2008-01-01T17:51:06Z</published>
    <updated>2008-05-02T16:51:44Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[01 January, 2008Office of Pecuniary InterestsDepartment of Optimism and InterpretationManagement DivisionBPL HQ, BrooklynMEMO*****************************************************************To Whom it may concern in the Department of Information Control, Department of Outreach, and/or Department of Corporate Semaphore:&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Our office is initiating an investigation into the proclivity...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Department of Ephemera</name>
        <uri>http://browerpropulsionlab.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://memo.browerpropulsionlab.com/">
        <![CDATA[01 January, 2008<br />Office of Pecuniary Interests<br />Department of Optimism and Interpretation<br />Management Division<br />BPL HQ, Brooklyn<br /><br /><br />MEMO<br />*****************************************************************<br /><br /><br /><br />To Whom it may concern in the Department of Information Control, Department of Outreach, and/or Department of Corporate Semaphore:<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Our office is initiating an investigation into the proclivity someone down there has for giving away BPL artifacts.&nbsp; While it is stated in our corporate mission objectives that BPL 'originates, develops, and prosecutes space missions with little or no money and very little know-how', we hardly think the company should be constantly divesting itself of the few assets it has accumulated through hard work, dedication, and most of all, luck, for no form of remuneration whatsoever.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;From the perspective of our ledger, it appears that any time some school, car dealership, or orphanage is having a raffle, ice cream social, bingo game, 'benefit auction' or gala, they can just call up your department and get some historically significant artifact to dispense at a profit for themselves.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;I ask you, are we spending our lives designing, prototyping, testing, perfecting these objects, (which are almost art) so that they can be flung to the winds, disassociated from their purpose, dispensed as mere trinkets to a bored and anonymous clientele?&nbsp; Does this self-destructive Charity really even benefit those greedy entities who expect a regular and constant influx of commodities to perpetuate their organizations (bloated and wasteful as they might be)?&nbsp; The value of these things comes not from the amount of money that can be garnered from their sale, but from the awareness of their significance in a social context.&nbsp; By giving these heirlooms away, we obliterate any value they might have, unless, by some happenstance, they are snapped up by a savvy or cunning passerby with a few coins in his pocket who knows what they are.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;BPL will not be dependent on these random events for the maintenance of its historical materials.&nbsp; Henceforth, any disbursal of equipment, artifacts, documents, ephemera, or office furniture, will have to be cleared through this office, as well as any others already pertinent.&nbsp; If we find this trickle of our lifeblood continues to seep into the bottomless vessels of 'needy organizations', punitive action will be considered.&nbsp; To show you that we are serious about this matter, we have been authorized to cancel the 'three legged sled race' and the 'HAM radio DX contest' for this upcoming weekend.&nbsp; Don't even bother to show up at the park; you'll have to think of some other activity for your families; perhaps you can take them to a charity auction - now that sounds like fun!<br /><br />Regretfully,<br /><br /><br />Steven Brower<br />President, Green Visor Task Force<br />KC2SQU<br />CC: Propaganda Division ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

</feed>
