April 2006 Archives

08 April, 2006

BPL Headquarters, Brooklyn, NY


    I know you were happy when we inherited the Carpenter estate, and I agree that this event could put BPL on some kind of map, but have you guys come up
with any ideas about what to do with his corpse?  The space agency is writing me letters demanding we return the equipment he 'borrowed' when he left the astronaut corps. (No pun intended, I guess); we've got to do something with this stuff.

    I was thinking, and just hear me out on this, that since its been determined he's got no family, maybe we should look into his genealogy and find out where his ancestors came from.  I know this sounds stupid and that we can't afford it, but what if we whipped a mission together where we send his ashes a couple hundred thousand feet up into the troposphere, above his ancestral breeding grounds, and spread them there?  At least maybe he can get into space now, like in a reduced form.  And then we could display the capsule and his equipment and make some hay out of what altruists we are for trying to honor his memory and shit like that.  Then maybe we can keep the artifacts, be rid of the remains, and end up in a position to advance the missions we really want to do, like the Mars on Earth stuff, and get some support from the old timers and the more established aerospace community.  I just hope his ancestors don't hail from too far away.  

Get back to me this afternoon about the idea; check with the hardware guy and see if we can come up with something to launch like a 3 - 7 lb. payload. Also ask him where the fuck my chair is; I sent it down there two weeks ago. 

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