BPL Holiday Memo
DROOP
Directorate for Resident Operators Office Parties
23 December, 2009
In consultation with upper management, this office has concluded discussions about the annual BPL office party. Our main concern has been to avoid last year's fiasco, but still have fun.
From around the middle of December until 2 January, people are generally rushing around hurriedly attempting to 'finish' things and address their holiday needs. This results in missed work days and elevated levels of stress. We don't have to remind you that a lot of traveling gets done in this period, and the general elevation of anxiety can be dangerous at home, on the roads, in the air, out in space, and most importantly, at work.
That is why we chose to schedule this year's party in a statistically and scientifically considerate manner, rather than with an eye toward tradition and sentimentality. This year's party will be held Wednesday, 27 January, 2010, during the lunch break which will be extended to a full 45 minutes, beginning at 10:20 a.m. EDT. Also as usual, it will be in the break room, next to the secretary's first aid station. Studies have shown that this is the least productive moment of the year, so spending the time on a party will not interfere with our progress too much.
As with any holiday office party, this directorate will be responsible for collecting the funds from all of you for the decorations and refreshments. $25.00 each should do. The collection period begins immediately and will end on Friday, 22 January, at 7:50 p.m. EDT. Keep in mind that your receipt is your ticket to the party, the attendance of which is mandatory, company-wide. We will need volunteers for the several committees: Decorating (this year's theme: Bow Hunting); Place settings, Cutlery, and Condiments (see me for some left overs from last year); Music (appropriate, please!); Food (Diabetes friendly); and Secret Santa. We really need everyone's help to make this year's party the best ever, so don't be afraid to make suggestions!
Oh, and one other thing. Due to the time of day, management has decided that alcohol will not be a feature of this year's party. If you want to drink, do it before you come to work.
